What the Buckle?

Anyone who knows me has probably heard about “the buckle.” They might even know it’s connected to a mountain bike race that starts at 10,152 ft (3,094 m) in Leadville, Colorado. They may or may not know all the grueling details: to earn it, I must ride 104 miles (167 km) of very mixed surfaces, ranging from pavement to gravel to singletrack to goat trails to 4x4 roads, climb over 12,500 feet up to an elevation of 12,424 ft (3,787 m), all in less than 12 hours (.4866 sols). But they do know it’s a pretty challenging goal, and they know that I’m…obsessed? Sure, let’s call it what it is: I’m obsessed. 

But why?

Before we get into that, know this isn’t my first attempt to write this post. I have a version from a couple of weeks ago when the Willow Fire held the fate of the race in its unpredictable grasp. At that point, containment had progressed so that the town of Leadville and most “values” in the affected areas had been secured. People were safe, evacuation orders were stable, things were looking up.

As of today, August 1, 2026, the Willow Fire is still active and will likely remain so until the snows come. It has affected 7,196 acres and is 66 percent contained.

Early on in the fire’s presence, one weekend of events had already been canceled thanks to air quality and prudence. However, the Leadville Race Series director had yet to issue a go/no go for the rest of the summer’s events. 

While I chose to focus on my training rather than worst-case scenarios, I found it difficult to feel the excitement I should have. On the horizon was another long pilgrimage from West Virginia to Colorado, time with family, solitude in the high peaks, then the hustle and bustle of preparation as the crew arrives and finally…finally…the race! All day on my bike in the mountains outside Leadville. What a dream.

And so, even as I was sitting in my friend Chrissy’s backyard as she hosted a going-away gathering for me, I didn’t know if I was actually going away! I couldn’t resist; while chatting, I checked the race series' official Facebook page and sure enough, they had just announced that the vast group of public agencies and landowners involved had greenlit the rest of the summer’s events. Now I’m excited!

There is something that happens when a dream starts to fade, or when something we hold close is about to be lost. Its return to us makes the whole experience that much sweeter. 

I had already lost sight of my buckle so many times. The first year I attempted the race (2023), I pushed my bike up the Columbine goat trail to the turnaround point and knew there was no way I’d make the cutoff at mile 63. In 2024, my second attempt, while faster, became just about simply crossing the finish line…riding every mile of the race. I had no expectation of the buckle or even a medal, as I reached the turnaround point too late, again. But I knew in that moment, I had one goal: to finish. I was there that day, on the mythical Leadville 100 MTB course. This chance may never come again. Crossing the finish line that year was glorious, even if it wasn’t in less than 12 hours. And, to my surprise, I ended up with a finisher’s medal! 

But the buckle still eluded me.  

2025 was a bust altogether. After two accidents in the spring left me focusing on healing rather than training, I had to let go of the buckle again. When I made that decision in May of 2025 to defer my entry that year, I felt lost. I didn’t know if I’d actually sign up when the chance came. Perhaps it was time to let go of the dream. 

But when November 2025 rolled around, I signed up. I told myself I had until the official lottery opened in January to change my mind so someone else could have my spot. Two days after signing up, I knew I made the right decision. I loved that the buckle was back in my life: the goals, the training, the focus, the dream.

So as I sat on my deck in the middle of July, after a spectacular gravel ride through the mountains of West Virginia with dear friends, I couldn’t help but wonder: do I have to let go of the buckle, again? Will the Willow Fire find us all asking that question?

Now that we know the race is on, we also know there will be course changes. I told all my friends that evening: don’t you dare think they are going to make it easier on us! And, if the recent stage race is any clue…they are not. There are rumors of more climbing, more tech, more exposure. And honestly, to me, that all sounds like more fun! But the Leadville formula for many of us average Janes is what we depend on: knowing the pacing we need between cutoffs, efficient, well-calculated pit stops with our crew, managing our fitness and fueling for the cruxes that have made the Leadville 100 course what it is. 

But now…now we are in the unknown. 

And here’s the thing about the unknown: it is full of nothing but possibilities.

So back to the dream. Why? Leadville found me back in 2020, less than five months after my husband died. Why did it find me? It had a lot to teach me. I had the feeling that my future self was calling out: do this. It was absurd at the time. I’d never ridden more than 30 miles on any bicycle, at any elevation. 

Once I decided on this dream, I knew I had to put it on hold for a bit. I was still caring for my mother, who was determined to defy the cancer odds, and defy she did! After a seven-year battle with pancreatic cancer, she left this world in August of 2022, the weekend of the Leadville 100 MTB race. It was a confirmation of my conviction that I would never have to choose between training or racing and caring for her.

I penned my origin story early on for the Victory Lap, and this series of posts (start at the bottom) will walk you through my journey so far, and my guess is you could piece together why this dream means so much to me. But who has time for all that? 

So here we go:

First of all, years of caregiving for my husband and mother had made me very good at one thing: survival. I learned I could survive so much more than I ever imagined. But it came at a price. Stress. So much stress. My survival depended on an unbalanced daily surge of the hormones of stress, such as cortisol and adrenaline, to make quick decisions, power through unimaginable tasks, and eventually help my loved ones pass over to the other side. 

So when the stress ended, when the mission was over, I found my body was still addicted to those hormones.  To struggle was to live. I needed another struggle. I needed a distraction from my grief. I needed another mission that seemed impossible. To me, at the time, I felt like I didn’t want to waste the new powers that I realized I had, the power to do the unthinkable.

But over the last six years, the reason for this dream has changed. And that’s okay. The first step on the path rarely looks like the 10,000th or the millionth. As we grow, we change. And for me, that’s the whole point: the growth that inevitably happens when we step into the unknown.

Setting my sights on the buckle was like planting a seed. The fertile soil: my sad sack soul. The rain: all of the challenges I’ve had to overcome along the way: the dog bites, vehicle issues, bike crashes, personal sacrifices, shadows of doubt. These lessons then transform into sprouts, shoots, and leaves when the sunlight of success shines upon me: fitness gains, confidence boosts, nailed workouts and spectacular endurance rides with friends.

The result is a rooted young tree that didn’t exist six years ago. I hope it provides some shade to a weary passerby, a perch for birds searching for home, a sturdy structure for which snow may settle in quiet beauty. 

And so even as I sit here acclimating in Nederland, CO at 8,700 ft (2,651 m), willing my body to produce enough red blood cells to race my bike at 10,000+ ft, I know one thing: The buckle has done its job. I've felt it in my heart and held it in my mind many times. Now I need to dig deep, ride 100-ish miles through some of Colorado's biggest, baddest mountains, and go pick it up.

With that, stay tuned for auto repair and acclimation updates as we are two weeks out from the Leadville Trail 100 MTB! (August 15, 2026). Until then, enjoy this smattering of photos from the trip so far!

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